Christian Marriage Help: Why Prayer Changes Everything

Marriage is one of the greatest tools God uses to reveal His heart to our children. Our unity can become a living picture of Christ and His bride — but that doesn’t mean marriage is easy. In fact, many Christian couples quietly battle strain, distance, frustration, or emotional disconnection for years.

One of the most transformative disciplines for strengthening your marriage is also the simplest: praying together.

I still remember those early days when Jon and I first became followers of Christ. We loved each other deeply — he’s been my best friend for 20 years — but intimacy was strained, finances were stressful, and I was wrestling with depression and frustration. We didn’t have any healthy marriage examples in our families, so we were learning as we went.

But then God prompted us to begin something small: a nightly Bible time.

Every evening, after putting the kids to bed, we’d sit in bed, open a one-page devotional, read a scripture, and pray. It felt awkward at first. New. Different. Vulnerable.

But the unity that began to form between us was nothing short of transformative. Our marriage slowly shifted from “surviving” to truly connecting as one.

Why Praying Together Changes Everything

Prayer creates spiritual intimacy in a way nothing else does. That’s why pastors warn men and women about praying one-on-one with people who aren’t their spouse — because prayer binds hearts.

When you pray with your spouse, you are inviting God into the deepest parts of your marriage:

• Areas of hurt

• Areas of broken trust

• Areas of frustration

• Areas of misunderstanding

• Areas where you’ve spoken death instead of life

• Areas where you’ve given the enemy space to discourage or divide

Prayer is where unity grows.

The Productive Pain of Starting Something New

Most Christian couples avoid praying together because it feels awkward. You don’t know what to say. You don’t know how long to pray. You don’t want to feel exposed.

But spiritual disciplines function like muscles — at first they feel sore and uncomfortable, but with practice, strength grows.

If you want your marriage to be different, someone has to plant a new seed.

The truth is simple:
If you don’t start, nothing will change.
If you’re waiting until it feels comfortable, you’ll be waiting forever.

Intentionality is the key.

Marriage, family worship nights, discipling your kids, praying with your spouse — none of it “just happens.” Life will crowd it out unless you choose to fight for it.

Blessing Instead of Cursing

One of the greatest marital shifts happens when we change how we speak about our spouse.

Frustration is real — but complaining, ruminating, and rehearsing their shortcomings is a form of cursing — speaking death instead of life.

The Lord recently convicted me to stop spiraling in frustration about someone and begin speaking blessings. I even created a “blessing jar” filled with scriptures and written blessings so that when irritation rises, I can pull one out and speak life instead.

What you speak shapes what you reap.

Proverbs says the power of life and death is in the tongue.
Your words can either build unity or break it.

Understanding How God Wired Your Marriage

Another overlooked key to marital peace is understanding your redemptive gifts from Romans 12. These are God-given designs of the soul that influence how you think, feel, problem-solve, parent, and respond to conflict.

Some gifts naturally sync well — like Prophet + Servant (which is Jon and me).
Some naturally clash — like Prophet + Giver (black-and-white meets gray-everything).

Understanding your gift, your spouse’s gift, and your child’s gift changes everything — how you communicate, how you resolve conflict, how you discipline your kids, and how you create unity in the home.

If you want to explore how God designed your marriage and family to function, check out my Redemptive Gifts Course HERE

Your Marriage Can Heal

If your marriage feels distant…
If resentment has grown…
If communication is strained…
If intimacy feels hard…
If you feel like roommates instead of partners…

Start today: One scripture. One prayer. One intentional moment of unity.

God can rebuild what feels broken — but He invites us to sow new seeds so we can reap a new harvest.

If you are having trouble moving toward forgiveness and reconciliation with your spouse, check out my FREE Forgiveness & Reconciliation Printables HERE. 

Listen to the full Family Room Mission Podcast episode HERE.