From Control to Kingdom Influence: How to Lead Your Children's Hearts Toward Jesus

Today, we have a special guest post from Alicia Bennett at Mobilizer Mom. She is committed to helping Christian Moms reset their minds and lead their home well. Check her out at www.mobilizermom.com

 From Alicia Bennett: 

From Control to Kingdom Influence: How to Lead Your Children’s Hearts Toward Jesus

Motherhood has a way of exposing both our deepest joys and our deepest fears.
We want our kids to grow up knowing and loving Jesus—not just following rules or performing for approval. But if we’re honest, many of us try to get there by controlling behavior rather than cultivating the heart.

I get it. I’ve been there too—overcorrecting, micromanaging, and trying to shape my kids’ every choice out of fear they might get it “wrong.” But control can only reach so far. What our kids truly need is influence—the kind that shapes their hearts and minds long after they’ve left our homes.

The Problem with Control

When our focus is on controlling our kids’ behavior, we often create an atmosphere of pressure instead of peace. Rules and boundaries are good, but if they aren’t paired with relationship and discipleship, they can breed resentment, rebellion, or fear.

Even with the best intentions, control says:

• “You have to measure up to my standard.”
• “I need you to behave so I feel like I’m doing a good job.”

Kingdom influence says:

• “I’m more concerned with your heart than your performance.”
• “I want to help you see who God created you to be and walk in that design.”

Ashley’s heartbeat at Family Room Mission is that healed parents raise healed children—and that discipleship begins at home. That means shifting our posture from being behavior managers to being shepherds of our children’s hearts.

From Behavior Management to Heart Discipleship

Jesus didn’t come to control us. He came to invite us into relationship, transform us from the inside out, and then send us to do the same for others. That includes our own children.

If we want to raise whole, Spirit-led Kingdom leaders, we must parent the way our Heavenly Father parents us—with grace, truth, and intentional guidance.

• We model what walking with God looks like—not perfection, but daily dependence.
• We speak identity into our kids, reminding them they are chosen, loved, and equipped for God’s mission.
• We create spaces in our homes where our children’s souls are restored and their spirits are ignited for God’s purposes.

Shifting the Atmosphere in Your Home

Here’s what I’ve learned: the atmosphere of my home is often a reflection of my own heart. If I’m anxious, impatient, or distracted, that spirit tends to fill the house. But when I am rooted in God’s Word and leaning into His Spirit, peace flows more freely—and my kids feel it.

You don’t need to have the “perfect” devotional setup or a seminary degree to disciple your children. You just need a surrendered heart, a willingness to grow, and rhythms that keep your family connected to God’s truth.

Ask yourself:

• Am I making space for my kids to see and hear God’s voice in daily life?
• Am I leading from a place of love and vision instead of fear and control?
• Am I inviting them into God’s mission instead of trying to manage every detail of their behavior?

Practical Ways to Trade Control for Influence

1. Connect before you correct. Make sure your child feels seen and valued before addressing the behavior.
2. Use moments of misbehavior as opportunities for discipleship. Ask, “What does God say about this?” instead of only giving consequences.
3. Anchor your parenting in Scripture. Let God’s Word—not just your words—be the guiding authority in your home.
4. Pray with your children daily. Let them hear you invite the Holy Spirit into your family life.
5. Speak life into their identity. Remind them often who God says they are.

The Ripple Effect of Influence

When we trade control for Kingdom influence, we’re not just raising well-behaved kids. We’re raising Daniels and Esthers—young men and women who know their God, understand their calling, and stand firm in the culture without being consumed by it.

And it starts in the family room.
It starts with us.
It starts today.

Mama, you are your child’s first and most important discipler. You have more influence than you think—and God has already equipped you for this mission.

Free Resource for You:
If you’re ready to shift the atmosphere in your home and begin discipling your children from a place of peace instead of pressure, I’ve created a free 5-day ROOTED Motherhood Devotional just for you. It’s designed to help you renew your mind in God’s truth so you can parent with confidence, clarity, and eternal purpose.

Grab Your Free Devotional Here

If you want to learn more about how you can start raising disciples right from your own home check out the FREE Course: Raising Worshippers HERE

Grab some FREE Forgiveness & Reconciliation Printables HERE to help promote heart-connection in your home. 

Check out the Newest Podcast Episode: Welcome to the Kingdom Mission Movement