How Unhealed Wounds Give the Enemy Access | Finding Freedom In Christ

How Unhealed Wounds Give the Enemy Access

There are moments in life when our reactions surprise even us. A simple comment feels like a personal attack. A disagreement quickly becomes anger. A disappointment leaves us overwhelmed with fear or rejection. We tell ourselves we're overreacting, yet we can't seem to stop. We apologize afterward and promise it won't happen again, only to find ourselves repeating the same response the next time someone unknowingly touches the same tender place.

Those moments often reveal something much deeper than a bad day or a difficult personality. They reveal wounds that have never truly healed.

Jesus gives us a remarkable picture of this reality in Matthew 12:43-45. He describes an unclean spirit leaving a person, wandering through dry places, and eventually returning to find the house swept clean and put in order. Yet because the house is empty, the spirit returns with seven others more wicked than itself, leaving the person in a far worse condition than before.

For many years I read this passage primarily through the lens of deliverance. While that certainly has its place, I have come to realize that there is another important principle woven throughout these verses. Freedom is never meant to stop with deliverance. Jesus desires to heal the places that gave the enemy access in the first place.

Every wound tells a story.

Some wounds were created by harsh words spoken over us as children. Others were formed through betrayal, abandonment, abuse, rejection, disappointment, or loss. In the moment the wound occurred, something inside of us cried out for protection. We built walls around our hearts. We developed coping mechanisms. We believed lies about ourselves, about other people, and sometimes even about God.

Those wounds may become less noticeable as the years pass, but they rarely disappear on their own. Like an untreated infection hidden beneath the surface, they continue influencing how we think, how we respond, and how we relate to others. We may become experts at hiding the pain, but hiding it is not the same as healing it.

One of the greatest invitations Jesus extends to us is the invitation to return to those painful places with Him. Healing begins when we acknowledge that He was present even in the moments when we felt completely alone. He never abandoned us. He never looked away. He entered our suffering long before we ever realized He was there.

As we begin walking through that process with the Holy Spirit, He gently reveals the lies we believed because of our wounds. Perhaps we believed we were unwanted. Perhaps we believed we had to control everything to stay safe. Perhaps we believed we would never be enough. Whatever the lie may be, Jesus replaces it with truth. But healing does not stop with recognizing truth. It continues as we choose forgiveness.

Forgiveness is one of the hardest steps in the healing journey because it feels unfair. Everything inside of us wants justice before mercy. We want the person who hurt us to acknowledge the pain they caused. We want an apology. We want things made right. Yet Jesus continually leads us to the cross, where He demonstrated forgiveness before anyone deserved it.

When we refuse to forgive, we continue carrying the wound ourselves. The offense becomes part of our identity. Bitterness settles into our hearts, and resentment quietly grows beneath the surface. We may think we are protecting ourselves, but in reality we are leaving the wound uncovered. Every time someone brushes against that place, the pain feels just as fresh as the day it happened.

I often think of unforgiveness like an infected cut. Imagine scraping your arm and never cleaning the wound. Day after day, dirt continues entering it. The infection grows deeper, and eventually even the lightest touch becomes painful. The problem isn't the person who accidentally bumped your arm. The problem is that the wound was never allowed to heal.

Jesus desires to clean the wound.

He removes the infection.

He brings truth where lies have lived.

He restores what was broken.

He binds up what has been torn apart.

But He also invites us to participate in the process through repentance, forgiveness, and reconciliation wherever reconciliation is possible and wise.

This is why so many people experience moments of incredible freedom only to find themselves struggling again months later. Deliverance may remove the immediate oppression, but if the underlying wound remains untouched, if bitterness is still present, if forgiveness has never been extended, the enemy often finds familiar ground waiting for him. The house has been swept clean, but the wounded places remain vulnerable because they have never been fully surrendered to Christ.

The good news is that Jesus never intended us to simply survive spiritually. He came to make us whole.

Paul reminds us in 2 Timothy that in a great house there are vessels for both honorable and dishonorable purposes. He encourages believers to cleanse themselves so they may become vessels prepared for every good work. This cleansing is not something we accomplish through our own strength. It is the ongoing work of sanctification as we continually invite Jesus to search our hearts, expose what does not belong there, and transform us into His image.

One of the greatest indicators that healing is still needed is an emotional trigger. Whenever we react far beyond what the situation deserves, it is worth asking the Holy Spirit, "What is this reaction revealing?" Rather than living in shame, we can become curious with God. He is not exposing our wounds to embarrass us. He is exposing them because He wants to heal them.

As parents, this matters more than we often realize. Children do not simply inherit our strengths; they often experience the overflow of our unhealed wounds. The areas where we refuse healing frequently become the very places that shape the emotional atmosphere of our homes. Yet the opposite is equally true. When we pursue healing with Jesus, our children begin witnessing what repentance looks like. They see forgiveness practiced. They experience reconciliation. They learn that freedom is possible because they watched their parents choose it.

That is one of the reasons I created both the Pathway to Wholeness Course and The Armor Series. Healing is not reserved for adults who have spent decades walking with Christ. Children can begin learning these biblical principles now. The Sword & The Spirit, the first book in The Armor Series, introduces young readers to spiritual warfare and teaches them how to stand firm in Christ from an early age. Each book builds on that foundation, helping families disciple the next generation with practical biblical truth that children can understand and apply.

If you are carrying wounds that still seem to influence your thoughts, your emotions, or your relationships, don't settle for simply managing the pain. Jesus offers something far greater than coping. He offers healing. My prayer is that whether you begin with the free ebook The Sword & The Spirit, continue through The Armor Series, or walk through the Pathway to Wholeness Course, you'll discover that the Lord is still in the business of restoring hearts, renewing minds, and making all things new.

Find more resources available at www.ashleytilford.com and listen to this episode on the Family Room Mission Podcast.